If I decorate my house perfectly with plaid bows, strands of twinkling lights and shiny balls, but do not show love to my family, I’m just another decorator.

If I slave away in the kitchen, baking dozens of Christmas cookies, preparing gourmet meals and arranging a beautifully adorned table at mealtime, but do not show love to my family, I’m just another cook.

If I work at the soup kitchen, carol in the nursing home and give all that I have to charity, but do not show love to my family, it profits me nothing.

If I trim the spruce with shimmering angels and crocheted snowflakes, attend a myriad of holiday parties and sing in the choir’s cantata but do not focus on Christ, I have missed the point.

Love stops the cooking to hug the child. Love sets aside the decorating to kiss the husband. Love is kind, though harried and tired. Love doesn’t envy another’s home that has coordinated Christmas china and table linens.

Love doesn’t yell at the kids to get out of the way, but is thankful they are there to be in the way. Love doesn’t give only to those who are able to give in return but rejoices in giving to those who can’t.

Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails. Video games will break, pearl necklaces will be lost, golf clubs will rust, but giving the gift of love will endure.

Merry Christmas and lots of love to you and yours!

Brilliant answers given by 2nd grade school children to the following questions!!

Why did God make mothers?
1. She’s the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
2. Mostly to clean the house.
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.

How did God make mothers?
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2. Magic plus super powers, and a lot of stirring.
3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.

What ingredients are mothers made of?
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
2. They had to get their start from men’s bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.

Why did God give you your mother and not some other Mom?
1. We’re related.
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people’s Moms like me.

What kind of little girl was your Mom?
1. My Mom has always been my Mom and none of that other stuff.
2. I don’t know because I wasn’t there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
3. They say she used to be nice.

What did Mom need to know about Dad before she married him?
1. His last name.
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?

Why did your Mom marry your Dad?
1. My Dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot.
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
3. My grandma says that Mom didn’t have her thinking cap on.

Who’s the boss at your house?
1. Mom doesn’t want to be boss, but she has to because Dad’s such a goof ball.
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than Dad.

What’s the difference between Moms and Dads?
1. Moms work at work and work at home, and Dads just go to work at work.
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
3. Dads are taller and stronger, but Moms have all the real power ’cause that’s who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend’s.
4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.

What does your Mom do in her spare time?
1. Mothers don’t do spare time.
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.

What would it take to make your Mom perfect?
1. On the inside she’s already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
2. Diet. You know, her hair. I’d diet, maybe blue.

If you could change one thing about your Mom, what would it be?
1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I’d get rid of that.
2. I’d make my Mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.
3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.

I found this here

How can I not have posted here since early September? Where has the time gone?

Life continues to race away in the Harrison Household.. though it is much quieter round here just being the three of us.

Owen seems to be thriving on the challenges and opportunities that are coming his way up in the Scottish Borders. He is participating in a range of outdoor pursuits and youth work and is excited and fired up about the new venture that they are just getting off the ground which is a drop-in centre for folk with substance and alcohol abuse issues. He is home for a few weeks over Christmas and we are looking forward to seeing him - it will be three months!

Siân is learning to drive…. she has her Theory Test next Saturday morning and at the moment, the Theory DVD and book remain in their wrapper unopened… talk about laid back!! She is still loving her art and getting her portfolio together for applications for a Foundation Art Course next year, hopefully in a near by college. This will give her a complete overview of all the art mediums and techniques in order to help her decide in which direction she wants to go for her Degree. - And it means we get to keep her at home for another year!

Roger is very busy with work - not something I should complain about really - glad he is busy and the work is coming in. It is his mother’s 89th Birthday on Sunday. Bitter sweet day as it would have been his Dad’s 88th Birthday on the same day. It is the first birthday since his death - just as this Christmas will be the first - people tell me that it will get better once you pass these milestones. The one comfort is that his Mum is doing well and thriving in the Nursing Home. The Dementia has taken her to a place away from grief, where being a widow after 59 years of marriage is not a place of pain. She is beyond all that. That is something of a blessing I think. My auntie Eileen, who lost her husband nearly two years ago after a similar length of marriage, continues to greive and miss my uncle every single day - I just can’t imagine how it must feel. Oh dear - I didn’t mean for this to take us down this road.

My parents are doing well I am glad to say. Dad does have a heart condition and is classed as being “in heart failure” but a change of medication has helped him feel a lot better in himself. Let us hope that this will long continue.

I have been struggling over the last few months with these dratted migraines but I am not three weeks into a new treatment and approach and am doing fine. I am also just about to start taking a high dose Iron supplement so I would expect to be bouncing round with energy in a few weeks - I look forward to that!

I hope to update here far more often that I have been - perhaps I should spend more time here and less time on Facebook - now that would be a challenge.

Twenty five years ago yesterday, two very young looking, but very happy people, joined their lives together, making a public comittment to each other in front of friends and family.

By doing so, at the age of 24, they sealed the love that had been theirs since they first met at the tender age of 17.

The bride cried… sniffling and sobbing her way through her vows - was it really that bad?
The groom squeezed her hand and willed her through it - speaking the words silently but audibly - helping her to splutter her “I do’s”.

The flowers that decorated the little Welsh Chapel had been gathered from the gardens of the local community, friends and family raiding their gardens for any autumnal colour, peaches and rusts and orange. The bride and her mother had such fun transforming the plain white space into a colourful bower. The cake was made by a friend. The car was provided by the Godparent. The photos were taken by the husband of a freind. The dress was designed by the bride and translated into a triumph of ivory silk brocade by the talented hands of her mother who also made the bridesmaid’s dressed. Everyone was involved. Everyone joined in. Everyone played their part in making the day special.

And special it was too.

And so, twenty five years onwards, we find ourselves still together - and it is still special.

It is something we never take for granted.

I have been blessed with the most loving and special husband anyone could ever have. His kindness, wisdom, serenity, sense of humour and knowledge keep me sane. He is always there to pick me up, dust me down and send be out into the world. His love means everything to me.

He is special.

Roger, thank you. I love you more and more and am so blessed to have you as my husband and life partner. Thank you for being there. Thank you for being the wonderful father to our children. And thank you for being my best friend.

I love you.

This poem is by one of Roger’s favourite poets….

i carry your heart with me

e.e.cummins

Well, that time has come..

Our Firstborn is leaving home next weekend to start the next stage of his life…

So, like many many other parents, who will be going through this same things at this time of year, I have to face the reality that things are never going to be the same again…it is TIME.

Last year, he watched most of his friends go through the experience of leaving home as they started as “Freshers” at their respective Universities, Owen still had another year to go as he was a year behind them academically.

Things don’t go to plan in Owen’s world. The School that Owen attended has an outstanding record of producing Students who achieve A levels and then, at 18, go off to University. This was his “plan” too. But this was not the best thing for Owen, who, after two terms of A levels had come to the conclusion that, despite having achieved the grades required to continue in Sixth Form, it really was not for him. As his parents, we could have done the “we told you so” act, as we had advised him not to go back to school for A levels but to go and do something more vocational and practical based like a BTEC in Aviation Engineering which he also had a place at a local college to study. But, we didn’t… and he did actually come to that conclusion himself…. but I am sure that many of you remember my angst as he used this time to travel to Australia and work on his cousin’s farm and enriching his stay by doing some travelling around Australia..

Anyway, he came home and started the BTEC Engineering Course at the local College the next academic year which, he has now completed and passed..phew…. ok - it does not help at all being Dyslexic but he managed to leave everything all to the last minute, putting himself under immense pressure to get the work done in the end, and he has passed. Academic work and Owen are like oil and water!!

Of course the “plan” was then to proceed to an engineering apprenticship after all this study, but despite making it down to the final stages for one Company, the economic downturn has minimised all opportunities to get onto such a scheme and this idea hit a very hard brick wall.. One option was to go to University, but this is where I admire my son as he could have taken this option, spent three more years in Education and hoping that the job market picks up by then. But Owen himself has said that this is not an option as all he would achieve is the debt and has no impetus to study and so this would be a waste of his time and our money… so much for that “plan”.

So, what to do….

Well, this plan… our plan..his plan… none of these have come to fruition but I had forgotten about or not really faced up to the fact, that there was someone else who has a plan for Owen. Someone who loves and cares for him and who is watching over him and guiding him just as much as his parents.if not more…. and when it finally all came together, why was I so surprised that the opportunity presented itself and the doors opened for Owen to start doing, what was always there, always ticking away in the background?… God’s plan…

The Air Cadets, the outdoor pursuits, the Youth Leading, the Summer Camps where Owen has both grown as a leader of young people and grown in his faith, the personality that makes everyone Owen’s friend within minutes of meeting him… it is all there, and has been there, and are all now obvious beacons which have been lighting the road to where he needs to be.

So, on 12 September, we take him 450 miles to the borders of England and Scotland, where he will train to be a Youth Pastor specialising in Outdoor Pursuits. He will be working with the Church Army, an evangelistic Church of England organisation operating in many parts of the Anglican Communion with Paul and Elaine Little at Grafted which “is known locally for its work with young offenders and chaotic young people using outdoor sports such as canoe, mountain biking and mountaineering”.

Our son is leaving home. Both his calm, non-believing Father and I his over-emotional Mother are pleased and proud of him - in different ways as we have such different spiritual beliefs - but jointly in that he is our son and are glad that he has found his way..

I personally would have rathered him be a little closer to home - I am his mother after all - and letting go is hard… but I see the fire, excitement and passion in his eyes and his soul and willingly, if painfully, watch him go. This is his time. We have made the nest, and hatched him and nurtured him. I have hidden him under my wing and protected him. And now I have to let him go. And he is ready. All grown and in his adult feathers, restless and expectant.

The fledgling is leaving the nest…. may he soar on eagles wings, and may he always know how much he is loved…

Isaiah 40:30 & 31 (New International Version)

Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;

but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.

I so wish I could be like my hubby. He handles life so differently to me. I know that in the past I have accused him of being so laid back that he is alomost unconcious but there are times I would give my eye teeth for that ability to just let things wash over me.

I, on the other hand, think too much. “What if…….” Analyse every scenario. Think about this angle and that angle. Get myself all tied up and anxious over possible scenarios that have not even happened yet and may not even happen.

Why can I not practice what I preach and just once and for all realise that God has it all planned and that He will sort it out? Why do I continue to beat myself up about things over which I have no control?

I need to review my “mantra”………………

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Now that my Mother-in-law has moved into a Nursing home, we are faced with the fact that we have to sell their house to pay for the fees. Now I could go off on a tangent, relevant but none the less a tangent, and rant on about the unfairness of the system but that will not change anything. This is how it is and so this is how it shall be.

We have made a start at sorting things out there and today we went over and had a bit of a sort out of the garden shed and garage where we still had stuff stored that never quite made it over to our new house when we moved. Big bulky things like Owen’s surf board and fishing things and their bikes and several other bags and boxes of stored stuff.

Well, we took some stuff to the dump, and loaded as much as we could in the estate car, bikes on the bike rack on the back and surf board on the top - it looked like we were all packed up and ready to go on holiday - wish we had been rather than just making the 15 minute journey from there to our new house.

While we were there we sat in the garden and drank a cup of tea. Roger mowed the lawn and and I shed a few tears as I remembered happier times. I could not get rid of the image of my Father in law in his green house or tending the roses, or my Mother in law hanging washing on the line. Or sitting round that very table with them and drinking tea. Just little things like that.

The garden is sadly much neglected, there are weeds amongst the flowers, the bind weed and ivy are invading the shrubs and there are brambles amongst the roses. But, after Roger had mown the lawn, and I had freed some of the roses from their invaders, and dead-headed those blooms that had gone over, we sat listening to the birdsong and the silence - yes you can hear silence - try it sometime - and I came to a more peaceful place.

I took these photos on my ‘phone camera and was heartened to find at least one rose that was blooming proudly and beautiful amongst the ivy.

“To live in the hearts we leave behind is not to die” - Thomas Cameron

I was reminded recently of some words about parenting that I had used here in the past and I actually put them on FB. One or two of thes points have been flitting through my mind recently, triggering off memories - mainly memories and events that I wish I had handled better, or did not actually follow my own advice…. but then I suppose none of us are perfect and hindsight is that wonderful but frustrating thing and I don’t think there is a parent on this earth that has not wished they had had it’s benefit at one time or another.

Then I got to thinking about some of the more positive things, the laughs, the jokes, the games and the love… oh yes, the love.

These are the words

Give your presence more than your presents. Laugh, dance and sing together. Listen from a heart-space. Encourage. Understand. Allow them to love themselves. Say yes as often as possible. Say no when necessary. Honour their no’s. Apologize. Touch gently. Build lots of blanket forts. Open up.

Let them go when it’s time. Let them come back. Show compassion. Bend down to talk to children. Smile even when you’re tired. Surprise with a special lunch. Don’t judge their friends. Give them enough room to make decisions. Love all they do. Honour their differences. Respect them. Remember they have not been on earth very long.

The five words that start the last paragraph are the ones that are buzzing round my brain at the moment though- Let them go when it’s time

One chick in my nest is oh so ready to fledge and jump out… and come September I fully expect him to be soaring the skies on his own. And those skies are beckoning to him and calling him by name and offer such opportunity that he will grab and relish with excitement. The other chick is growing fast, and though her flight feathers are not fully developed yet, in a year or two, she will also be making those first tentative flights away from the safety of the nest and start to make her way in the big wide world.

And I have to start to let them go even though I want them to stay safely gathered under my wings. I know this. And I am trying. And there are times, when my caring is seen as fussing and I so do try not to do that… but. And there in lies the nub. But. I am a mother. Full stop.
So I am, in my own way, starting to let go. Trying anyway.

Gradually.
In small steps, I am facing up to this.
One. Two. Three. Breathe.

One step at a time.

I was feeling a little sorry for myself at the weekend. The weather was wet and it was colder than it had been for a while and not being out and about as much as we have been recently, contributed to me feeling a little low. I had also been turned down for a part time job that I had been interviewed for, and, even though I know in my heart of hearts that there will be something good to come out of having my working week cut to two days, I was, I have to admit, well on my way to a pity party…

But, some years back, after a long struggle, I learned that we are able to control the way we feel and we have within us the power to actively change the way we look at life and this has helped keep me away from depression and helped me become a far more positive and optimistic person.

In order to do this, I find great comfort in focussing on the good things we have and not allowing the bad things to take over.

Some years ago, I came across this and I find it helpful.. sometimes you just forget how much we actually have to be grateful for.

I thought that you may like it too…

Remember that your presence is a present to the world.

Remember that miracles can still happen.

Photo by Barbara Harrison - please do not use without permission

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest”
Matthew 11:28

The weather here over the last two weeks has been beautiful.

Roger and I have always taken the opportunity to spend time in our beautiful countryside and are both finding great joy and restoration in taking little trips around out locality.

And when the weather is fine, and we can take Roger’s car which has a soft top, and we can pottle around exploring with the wind in our hair and the sun on our faces, we find that life is really not that bad after all and provides just the escape and diversion that is needed after the last few stressful weeks.

So here is a little taster…

may4.jpg

This is my second attempt at uploading these photos so this will be enough for the moment.

Beautiful scenery, beautiful weather and quality time with my beloved…… what a blessing indeed.